Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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