So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
