Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize