He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
