IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
