So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
