the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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