So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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