Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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