So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
