im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
