I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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