i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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