my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
