This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize