2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
