Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
