Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
