I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
