It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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