haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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