I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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