I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
