His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
