You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
