Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
