who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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