She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
