Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
