screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
