Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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