I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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