i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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