i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
