so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
