dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
