i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
