Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
