I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
