My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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