i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well you can't waste a boner
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
