What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
