Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
