Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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