So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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