Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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