New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
