I got her a Nickelback box set.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
