This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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