The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
