I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
