I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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