My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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