I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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