We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
