checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
