Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
