he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
