As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
