Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was like eating out sand paper
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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