she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
