is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
