so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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