so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
