Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
