I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Come see our sink grown plant.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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