he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
