Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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